Insults we wish to hear and throw

Since I saw that post on Angry Aussie’s blog, I feel I urgently need to find someone to blame or be angry at for something so I can insult that person. Why ? The answers are here below. Enjoy !

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time in reading it.”
Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –
Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend… if you have one.”
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.”
Winston Churchill, in response

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”
Jack E. Leonard

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”
James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever…”
Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts… for support rather than illumination. ” –
Andrew Lang

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
Billy Wilder

Pault107, added an other on in the comments:

Bessie Braddock: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: And you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.

This last one, from Churchill again, is from this website :

Nancy Astor was a native Virginian who became Britain’s first woman member of the House of Commons. In the 1930’s she headed a clique in the House of Commons that found something to admire in Hitler’s Germany. Churchill described an Astorite as an appeaser “who feeds the crocodile hoping that it will eat him last.” One time shortly thereafter, Churchill found himself at Cliveden, the Astor mansion.

After dinner Lady Astor presided over the pouring of coffee. When Churchill came by, she glared and said. “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” “Nancy,” Churchill replied to the acid-tongued woman, “if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”

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Let this diversity of opinions be propounded to, and laid before him; he will himself choose, if he be able; if not, he will remain in doubt. "Che non men che saver, dubbiar m' aggrata." ["I love to doubt, as well as to know."-- Dante, Inferno, xi. 93] for, if he embraces the opinions of Xenophon and Plato, by his own reason, they will no more be theirs, but become his own. Who follows another, follows nothing, finds nothing, nay, is inquisitive after nothing. "Non sumus sub rege; sibi quisque se vindicet." ["We are under no king; let each vindicate himself." --Seneca, Ep.,33]"
Montaigne - Essais I, XXVI, Of The Education of Children
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